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You have ever wondered why other

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And you can't find a clean pair of

underwear.

 

 
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Your first child listened to classical music

You read to them for hours

You kept them sugar and chemical free

And you can't remember why.

 
This Site Is For You IF...

You have read the book! Twice!

And your child STILL doesn't do it.

 
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Mac-N-Cheese Martinis...because parenting isn't for sissies!
What's Up, Fear? PDF Print E-mail
Latest
Written by CC   
Tuesday, 14 November 2017 12:13

 

Today I face My Fear. 

I know you’re there. 

You’ve held me back.

You’ve kept me alone.

You’ve held me helpless at times.

But I know your smell now. 

I feel your touch.

I know you now.

And I am ready to face you.

I am going to look you in the eyes.

Face to face.

Feminano e feminano.

Yes, that’s a thing.

I will look steadily at your composition,

Your composure.

 

We will look into each other’s eyes.

Maybe have a staring contest.

And just when I understand you better,

I will reach out for your hand.

I will pull you close,

And hold you tight.

I will embrace you.

The trouble you’ve caused,

The parties I’ve invited you to,

The places I didn’t know you lived. 

 

I will whisper in your ear.

“I know you.

“I welcome you.

“I make peace with you.

“You do not own me.

“Or manipulate me.

“We are friends now.

“Welcome to my history.”

 

And we shall meet again

Over and over.

But today,

I will look you in the eye.

I won’t fight you,

Because you’re part of life,

My life.

I won’t dress you up

As something else.

I see you as you are.

And I will shed some tears

Seeing things for what they are,

Sometimes hurts.

Seeing the power you have,

And the power I didn’t,

Hurts.

 

 But in the warmth of my embrace,

 My acceptance,

My lack of fight,

You will lose your power.

You will become weak.

You will see me too.

 

And know your time is shorter,

Shorter than before.

You will wane.

And wither

Over time.

And leave me.

More often. 

Not because we don’t appreciate each other,

Not because we don’t respect the other,

But because you feed off my powerlessness.

You feed off my pain,

My anxiety,

My helplessness,

My past.

And today

I conceded the fight,

Which leaves you powerless.

 

Today, I call you Fear.

Today, I name your name.

And today,

I set you free,

To visit me less frequently.

With love

With peace

I become more free

Gently

Slowly

 

 

Just as it should be.

 
Seeing Eye to Eye PDF Print E-mail
Latest
Written by CC   
Saturday, 12 August 2017 08:35

I looked into my son’s eyes today.  They were right straight across from me as we were walking.  It’s been a process, him growing up and all.  I’ve “Seen” it coming.  But then it still hits me every single time I am walking with him in a store or at my other son’s soccer practice or while standing near him in the kitchen.  When did I quit looking down to see into those beautiful blue eyes?  Not too long ago.

 

His shoes were too big for me a couple years ago.  He exceeded my body weight a few months ago.  (Imagine us all in the bathroom weighing ourselves because he wanted to know who was heavier).  Every mom’s dream, to weigh in with all her kids. 

 

His clothes are bigger than mine.  His hair is thicker.  He looks more like his dad every single day.  That’s a good thing.  His dad is so handsome.  But this is a different iteration of his dad.  This is the iteration of him.  With pieces of his dad and maybe something of mine, like the fact that he has two arms and two legs. 

 

 
Balance Beam Fo What? PDF Print E-mail
Latest
Written by CC   
Thursday, 13 July 2017 12:35

If I walk the balance beam beautifully, I am perfectly balanced. 

 

I walked on the damn beam.  I kept falling.  Sucked.  I saw another guy do it.  He was amazing…  So balanced.  Guess what…  He had obviously been practicing for years.  I saw his body move gracefully and wonkedy.  I couldn’t replicate it.  I was able to balance a little.  And then I saw other people unable to balance at all or take one step.  I didn’t actually feel better about that.  I just noted it.  And then I tried again.  I didn’t do much better.

 

But if you never try, you have never tried.  If you practice, you will get better, at some level or another. 

 

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