Newsflash

This Site Is For You IF...

You have ever wondered why other

mothers have it all together.

And you can't find a clean pair of

underwear.

 

 
This Site Is For You IF...

Your first child listened to classical music

You read to them for hours

You kept them sugar and chemical free

And you can't remember why.

 
This Site Is For You IF...

You have read the book! Twice!

And your child STILL doesn't do it.

 
Show us a lil love...it's been a long day!
 
 
A Public Service by Dentist Advisor



The News
Rember When I Almost Burned Down the House? PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Wednesday, 04 September 2013 11:37

 

 “Hey Mom!”

 

“Yes, dear.” 

“Remember that time you came in my room, and the blanket I had over the light bulb was smoking?”

“Yes."

“Well, I did it with plastic tonight.  It didn’t smoke.  But it made this circle that was melted on the plastic.”

“Oh, really?” 

“Yes, it made a circle on the plastic that melted, but it didn’t start smoking.  You have to see it!”

 

Oh, fucking awesome.  That’s great, son!  You didn’t burn the house down?  Super!  You should get an extra star on your behavior chart this week.  And why the freaking hell do you remember the night I saved you from burning to death by checking on you at midnight and removing the smoking baby blanket from your lamp THREE years ago…. BUT you don’t remember if the teacher at school asked you to finish this worksheet or whether you have the right book or whether…..  damn it all!!!

 
do NOT PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Monday, 26 August 2013 08:48

Just a word of advice from someone who knows better.  Take a minute.  Take a breath.  Pull up a cup of green tea.  You’re gonna need the antioxidants after our little chat this morning.  But after our talk, you WILL be a better person.  You WILL thank me, if not outright.  You will thank me silently, after the f* word.  That’s ok.  Sometimes we hate the wise, the experienced, the giving.  Yes, that’s me.  All those things.  I am reminding you in case this upsets you in any way.  It upset me.

 

Whatever you do, do not clean your mirrors…  upside down. 

 
Hold Me PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Tuesday, 20 August 2013 11:50

I dropped my son off at school this morning, the son that always runs off effortlessly to take on the next challenge life throws at him.  I always think of him, not as invincible, but as something very close to that.  He seems to be able to handle anything.  And he finds the strength to handle anything he can’t.  Let me go back.   A couple days ago I walked him up to school, and he ran off, so I quietly walked away.  I thought he must not need me there.  That night he scolded me, “Mom, you left this morning without saying good-bye!”  I couldn’t believe he had noticed.  He didn’t appear to look at all.  I mean, I know he loves me.  But sometimes you just figure when they walk off, they are fine.  He has this fabulous strut at times, like he is so sure of himself, so ready, so fine. 

 

But the next day, I saw him check me 40 times before he went in to see if I was there, even though he wouldn’t play near me.  I waved my hand like a beauty pageant contestant until he went inside.  He looked one last time before he disappeared through the door.  I felt happy I had noticed and been able to do something so simple and ridiculous-looking, to lend a little confidence to his day.  Mom cares.  She listened. 

 
Wildlife Wonders PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Wednesday, 10 July 2013 12:01

My 9 year old, Mack, called me this morning.  He called me from the neighbor’s house.  I feel like that needs more explaining, so I’m trying to drag it out now.  He called me from the neighbor’s house because he was feeding their dog.  He’s a little bit of a famous pet sitter on our block.  Hey, ya got to start somewhere.  But I don’t want to miss the story here. 

He called me and said, “Mom, there’s a coyote in front of our house.  Would you check and see if it’s there before I come home?”

Well, sure, son, I said to myself.  But why the hell are you calling me now?  He’d been gone like 20 minutes?  So he had calmly seen a coyote and gone to do his pet sitting and then called me on the way out? 

Uh, kinda awesome.  I couldn’t help but grin with pride, while my mommy tummy clenched simultaneously.  You sometimes think your kids are awesome, but you wish if they were going to be so brave, maybe they could be someone else’s kids.

 
Dear Abercrombie & Fitch-Oh yah, my letter too. PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Wednesday, 15 May 2013 09:31

Just because everyone feels they need to respond.  I have decided I will too.  Only no one will give a shit.  Still, it’s written.

 

Dear Abercrombie & Fitch guy (Mark Jeffries) and all his haters,

 

I couldn’t give a rat’s ass who you market to.  I really don’t even understand why other people give a rat’s ass either.  Truly, I do think you’re a freaking genius.  All you have to do in America is call someone fat or uncool or unattractive and the whole country comes unglued.  First of all, I am too old and uncool and less than model-esque to care whether some teenage rock star clothing shop markets to me.  I am almost 40 years old.  I haven’t been in A&F for like…  years.  That’s because it was too loud for a morning shopping spree.

 
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