This Site Is For You IF...

You have ever wondered why other

mothers have it all together.

And you can't find a clean pair of



This Site Is For You IF...

Your first child listened to classical music

You read to them for hours

You kept them sugar and chemical free

And you can't remember why.

This Site Is For You IF...

You have read the book! Twice!

And your child STILL doesn't do it.

Show us a lil's been a long day!
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The News
Bikes and Ghouls PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Thursday, 01 November 2012 09:32

pumpkinI love Halloween.  And I was reminded when I popped onto facebook this morning and everyone was all like, “Look at my crazy pirate kid” or “whassup ghost man”.  And I’m all like, “no pictures of our night”.  I think I needed a Xanax, and I think my husband is sure I’m all crazy bat shit.  (Oh, spell check said that was two words.  I like ‘batshit’ much better.)  And it’s in the wrong order, just like my night. 


We might have spent 30 seconds actually walking as a family around our neighborhood.  Mostly, two houses into trick-or-treating, my kids are gone.  And it’s dark.  And they are on bikes.  I thought the bikes were cute until I realized they could walk a lot faster than me.  I mean, bike.  They could bike a lot faster than I could walk.  And by faster, I mean they can finish trick-or-treating before I get down the first street.  The neighborhood is packed with kids (although less than years past), and all the kids have costumes, and the adults have beverages.  It’s a precious suburban scene from an old fifties movie. 

Whose Fault Is It Anyway? PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Tuesday, 23 October 2012 10:05

It’s hard to know who to blame for a hard week.  Family is such a complex network of faux pas, dirty knees, misunderstandings, laughter and hugs.  It all gets confused sometimes.  But I slide out of last week like a cheap hooker after the sailors hit town.  I was worn out, so worn out--I wondered if I would make it through another week of work.  And if I haven’t mentioned it, last week was the first week of my ‘busy period’ of 8 weeks a year. 


I tried to figure out why I was such a wimp.  I’ve worked many a 12 to 14 hour day in my life.  I’m not 40 until next year so I should still feel spry as a chicken, right?  And I don’t.  I feel like a pile of bile, tired and stinky and very unwelcome in most social situations. 


I started to walk down the list of things that had happened that week…

The 'Private' Spouse and the Blogger PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Thursday, 11 October 2012 10:04

I pulled up a blog the private spouseother day from a twitter post.  No, I don’t remember which one.  I thought the lady was funny, and her blog was awesome.  I know, I should remember so I can share…  but damn all those other things in my head that keep me from remembering fun and inconsequential information.  (socks, dinner, homework)


I read the lady’s little blurb about herself.  It was super cute, and the one thing I remember is that she mentioned having a ‘private’ husband.  I giggled, then I laughed, then I almost wet myself.  I realized I do too.  I wondered how many other private wives and husbands stood warily and shakily behind their blabbering, blogging spouses.  And I know it’s not just women.  There are plenty of dad bloggers out there who crack me up---and I KNOW there’s a private spouse back there behind the hilarity.  Because, let’s be honest…  I feel like there’s this need to share, to communicate, to make things real by throwing them out and hearing what others share too. 

Irrational Fears: The Climax PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Friday, 05 October 2012 08:51

There are fears, and then there are great fears.  I remember as a child having some vivid memories of bugs in the carpet…  and no, I’ve researched with my parents, the idea that there actually were.  There weren’t.  As children we feel things at a stronger level, with much less experience.  Things are completely illogical because our undeveloped sense of ‘knowing what to expect’ has only led us to know certain things, like monsters aren’t real (although Aunt Myra is a very close facsimile), food doesn’t turn into worms (alright, my cooking is bad, but…) and owls do not pick up children into the night sky (I just needed you to stay close and you wouldn’t listen). 


But never did I imagine that my 5 year old would be scared of the toilet flushing.  And I smile as I write.  It is quite humorous; I hardly know where to begin.  Where does any fear start?  Well, sometimes at a Subway on a summer day in the middle of Colorado.  A toilet plugs for a moment, and the end of the universe sits in the balance, noises cease,

Tiny Little Infuriating Kid Toys PDF Print E-mail
Written by CC   
Thursday, 27 September 2012 12:18

Thank you, Taco “Place”, tacofor the fabulous two new additions to our family.  The two little monsters that you gave my personal little monster was a great time suck.  On our way home from Vegas, we decided to stop at your establishment for a yummy and semi-healthy lunch.  And usually I am pleased with my selections of Mexican/American/Fast Food from your menu.  Today, however, my 8 year old saw your kids’ menu, which I had invariably missed.  Mostly, I had ignored it because my kids were not yet aware that Taco “Place” had a kids’ menu.  And although kids’ menus bring a lot of joy to American children everywhere, they usually cost a fortune and lack much nutritional value.  Yes, I know, it’s fast food.  But in fairness, I choose Taco “Place” over most other fast food, because I feel the food is simpler and less loaded in grease.  So it is a compliment, wrapped in a complaint.  And it’s not that I mean to complain about the food, because I truly enjoy it, even as a bit of a ‘health nut’. 


So before I digress too far, we stopped to eat and ordered a kids’ meal for my 5 year old.  Now all other things being satisfactory, I would like to be on the record stating that the kid toy in the kids’ meal—the two little monster paper puzzles--with 450,000 little paper parts that need to be popped out and put together-suck.

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